I’ve got to ask you this…do you know the difference between your child’s wants and their needs?
Because most parents don’t and it’s for this reason that they feed into their children’s WANTS which results in…doing things for a quiet life, giving in to tantrums and generally ignoring the real problem while actually making it worse in the process.
And you might find yourself doing this too and I get it… you just want what’s best for your child, like most loving parents and I respect that. But once you can distinguish a want from their need, your little one is going to feel so much more safe and secure, that they can count on you to not only to meet their needs but also to trust your response to their wants.
You’ll have a calmer, happier child who will quickly respond to your direction and you’ll feel comforted that they’re getting all the best things that they need to thrive.
So, in this video, you’re going to discover how to respond to wants vs how to respond to needs each so that you confidently meet your little one’s needs without feeling like they can simply get whatever they want even when you know that thing is bad for them…
So, one of the mistakes I see most conscientious parents make is that when they’re little ones wake up in the middle of the night, they assume it’s because of hunger and give them milk.
Now, don’t get me wrong, i’m not saying that sometimes the baby isn’t hungry but where the fatal mistake comes into play is that the mum gives the baby milk EVERY time they wake up in the middle of the night.
Because the reality is, that not every time the little one wakes up, it’s because of hunger and if your go to solution is to give them milk, well, eventually they’re going to form a habit of WANTING the milk and they’re going to start waking up consistently in the middle of the night expecting and wanting milk… not needing milk.
That means, you, the loving mum, are going to be losing sleep every night for your baby’s wants… and this means that you’re going to find it much harder the next day to be in a bright and productive mood and to give your child your best attention while juggling the home and work and meals and diaries!
But, could you imagine if you attended only your little ones’ needs in the middle of the night? That would mean you could sleep through 3, 4 or 5 of the nights in a week instead of waking up every single night! What kind of impact would that have on how you feel when you wake up?
What could you get done that you’re currently too tired to even think about? How much better company would you be? And how much more joy would you get from a cheerful, well-rested little one by your side?
In fact, let me tell you about one of our clients, Jenny…Her toddler, Daisy wouldn’t go to sleep without holding her mum’s hand, so every bedtime and any time she woke in the night, she needed mum to come back to her with the hand.
Jenny was exhausted, she felt broken during the day and Daisy was often getting colds and having tantrums all because she wasn’t getting quality sleep.
You see, Daisy WANTED mum’s hand but what she NEEDED was to go to sleep and by giving her what she WANTED over and over again was making it worse and stopping Daisy from getting the sleep she needed.
It was hard at first for Jenny to change things, she felt mean but she soon saw the huge benefit as Daisy got better at going to sleep happily, knowing her mum was close by and Daisy started sleeping through the night because she didn’t need help to get back to sleep if she stirred.
Within a matter of days Jenny felt like a new woman with renewed energy to enjoy Daisy who was like a different child, so refreshed and cheerful.
That’s the power that comes from being able to distinguish the difference between your baby’s wants and needs. So now, let’s get into the nitty gritty details on how you can tell the difference….
So let’s start by looking at the needs. A baby really only needs a few simple things from you. Your love of course, which comes in many forms so we’ll get to that in more detail in a moment.
They need to be fed, they need to be clean and dry and they need to be comfortable. So when you put your little one to bed, can you confidently say those needs are met? If not, it’s not too difficult to address the need.
You see, the trick here comes from preparation before they go to bed. What I do and recommend you do is go over the basics and ensure all the needs mentioned a few seconds ago are met. You can do this with Some milk, a nappy change, some winding, make sure they’re not too hot or too cold.
So any further fussing from your little one is likely to be connected to a want and that want, as mentioned, could be derived from habit or expectation, simply not knowing any differently.
For example, if your little one has always fallen to sleep in your arms, he or she will cry for that to happen because they WANT it to happen and they want it to happen because they don’t know how else to get to sleep. They don’t need to be in your arms to get to sleep, they just need a new strategy for falling asleep.
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